Craigslist etiquette

Hubs has been laid off for a year and a half now, which means that my Pottery Barn/Pottery Barn Kids/Target shopping has taken a serious hit. This sucks. BIG TIME.

The upside to being poor is that I've rediscovered the beauty of Craigslist. I'm not going to lie, I love it. I scan the "for sale" ads looking for wood shit to refinish and live out my ghetto style Pottery Barn fantasy with. It's amazing.

Some people have treasures and think it's crap. Most people have crap and think it's treasures. Either way, I have noticed a pattern emerging. I'm going to call it "Craigslist Etiquette" and I'm here to lay down a few ground rules.

1. This is not a "desk". This is what most people would commonly refer to as a "table". Nobody over 2'8" could use this as a desk. Also, there is only one drawer and no chair. Hence, table.

2. This is not a "carpet". This is what most people would commonly refer to as a "rug". It only covers a small space and is easily portable, unlike carpet which is generally large and affixed. Rug.

3. It's "shabby chic", people...not "shabby sheik" or "shabby chick". Also, just because it's old and nasty doesn't mean it's shabby chic. It just means it's crap.

4. Please don't call your "dresser" a "chest of drawers". It's not 1935 and nobody knows what you're talking about.

5. It's "wrought iron"...not "rod iron". Just for fun, I Googled "rod iron" and got this as a definition: "Common misspelling of wrought iron". Ha! Even Google thinks you're an idiot.

6. When you list your item price in the title as "$8", and then I click on the link and you're asking "$800 OBO"...that's false advertising, my friend. Nice try.

7. I don't care how much you paid for your beloved treasures when you bought them. I want to know how low you're willing to sell them for NOW. Great, you paid $1600 for it two years ago. Will you take $20 for it now?

8. Seriously. Pictures. Nobody's going to buy your shit without pictures, and they're free to list, so throw some in there. Otherwise you can expect 427 emails that say, "Do you have any pictures you can send me?"

9. If your items's been listed for five months and it hasn't sold, it's probably time to lower the price. Nobody's going to pay $450 for your 1985 oak end table, even if the top lifts off for extra storage.

10. OH. MY. GOD. Post once. Just once. If I delete an item I'm selling, Craigslist makes me wait three days to put it back on the site, but somehow Joe Blow in Chino is able to list the same goddamn bookcase 14 times a day. What the hell?

Sigh. I think that about covers it. Happy shopping!