Reading material

I love the library.

I mean, I loooooooooove the library.

I love the stories, and the smell, and the visions I have of curling up on the sofa and spending some quality time with myself, sipping hot chocolate and cuddling with my Snuggie.

Except my "quality time" is spent with two kids yelling and two dogs shoving their noses up my crotch. And I don't own a Snuggie. And it's hot as shit right now.

Meh. Whatever.

The other day, I got a call that five of the ten books I have on hold were available. Yes, five. I'm aiming high.

This was the conversation between me and my friendly library employee:

M: Hello?

FLE: Mrs. Huttner?

M: Is my mother-in-law here?

FLE: What?

M: Never mind. Who's this?

FLE: This is the Orange Public Library. We're calling because the books you had on hold are available fo pickup.

M: Sweet! Which ones are they?

FLE: Let's see...Duma Key, Odd Hours, The Lovely Bones...ummm...Corpse and uh, Dead Men Do Tell Tales.

M: OK, I'll be by today to get them.

*pause*

M: Hello?

FLE: Ummm, Mrs. Huttner? That's an interesting choice of reading material.

M: I know, right? I'm going to have so much fun tonight!

*pause*

FLE: Uh, ok then. Have a good night.

*click*

The Orange Public Library thinks I'm a serial killer.