So today I actually removed my fingers from my keyboard, stood up, and dragged my fat ass to Weight Watchers.

And holy shitbricks and coffee cakes, I lost TWO POUNDS! Two pounds, folks! That's like...shit, I don't know, but that's two pounds, and hell if I won't take it. I am officially two pounds less fat than I was last week.

So I drove back to work deliriously happy, with visions of rainbows and pink unicorns and fuzzy bunnies running through my head. And I ran (shut up) to my desk, logged in, and typed in "www.weightwatchers.com" as fast as my chubby little fingers could.

I logged in my weight, grinned, and pushed the "submit" button, waiting for the screen to pop up and tell me how wonderful I am.

And instead, I got this little diddy:

"Please note: You're probably excited to be losing weight, but you're losing faster than is recommended. Although it's normal to lose over 2 lbs in 1 week, if you lose more than an average of 2 lbs per week over a 4-week period, this could pose health risks, such as heart irregularities, anemia or loss of muscle mass. Please slow your weight loss; your doctor can help you do this if you're not sure how, or ask your Leader for ideas."


The evil little Weight Watchers computer tramp thinks I'm losing weight too fast. What a pessimistic, sabotaging, horrific little buzzkill.

She obviously doesn't realize that I totally worked for this two pounds. She doesn't realize that instead of having 56 bags of fun-sized Skittles, I only had 2. Or that I parked a good two more spots farther in the Target parking lot than I normally do. Or that MY GOD, do I want cake right now.

She's probably skinny too.


4 people used their Big Boy words to communicate:

Shannon said...

Total buzzkill.

I wouldn't care what the WW computer tramp says... I'd be thrilled with the 2 lb loss! Woo hoo!

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

oh wow. that's some bs right there! don't listen to skinny bitch. 2lbs in a week is totally fine! ugh, i can't believe they have to scare with that anemia and loss of muscle mass crap!

great work! :)

(my word verf = bolog. awful close to "blog". wtf?)

WheresMyAngels said...

Again LMAO. My damn Wii Fit is always spoiling shit for me too!

lfamily5 said...

Congrats on the 2 pounds! That is quite an accomplishment in this season of eat and be merry!