Another reason I'm the best parent on earth

So The Dictator's sick. And he's been sick since Saturday, but since I'm, #1. The Mother of the Year, and #2. A big fan of medicating and waiting it out- I didn't take him to the doctor. I figured it was a cold, and after ingesting enough children's Tylenol and Ibuprofen to kill a Velociraptor, he'd be fine.

Until he got bumpy.

Like, everywhere.

Now, I'm no doctor...but I'm pretty sure my son's exterior should be smooth and bump-free. So off to the land of Kaiser fun we went.

We sat in the Land of Sickness and Filth for 30 minutes before we were called in. The Dictator was measured, weighed and temperature-checked, all of which reminded me of a cow going to the slaughter.


Then, the blessed Doctor, Patron Saint of Prescription Medicine, floated into the room. She looked at The Dictator's throat, checked out his bumpiness, and boldly declared:

"He has Scarlett Fever."

*blink, blink*


What the shit is Scarlett Fever? Isn't that something that existed back in the days of Cholera and the Black Plague? Is it even possible to get it now? And why don't we immunize for it? Because dammit, I may let my kid have a fever for three days, but I stick to that immunization schedule like white on rice.

My mind was reeling with the newly heightened levels of bad parenting I had reached. My son, my beloved Dictator, had something called Scarlett Fever, and it was all my fault. Next thing I knew, he'd be foaming at the mouth and trying to bite our dogs.

Not really.

Scarlett Fever, it turns out, is just what strep becomes when it gets into your system. So my son had strep, and because he was born to neglectful parents, it spread. Hence, his skin became bumpy, which is when I, being the perceptive parent I am, noticed it.


I'm just saying...if your kid has a fever for three days, and when you finally take him to the doctor, they tell you he has Scarlett Fever...then you might be the best parent on earth.

Like me.

3 people used their Big Boy words to communicate:

Angela said...

As long as he only tries to bite Bad Dog, things should be back to normal in Casa Huttner very soon. If you need anything let us know.

Los Garcias ;)

Anonymous said...

I would've done the same thing! I was reading thinking the same thing as you...don't they immunize for that? Thank you for clarifying!

WheresMyAngels said...

I know I thought that was from way past also. Maybe we get it mixed up with The scarlet letter?

Hope he feels better soon.