Domestic bliss

I suppose it's time to blog about my Christmas.

I mean, it is January 7th, and all.


It was good. Lots of time off equals less pay for Babe, so that sucks, but we managed to squeak through the holidays relatively unscathed.

And this year, we tried to be all domestic and shit too. You know, because that's what good families do during the holidays. And we're a good family, dammit, so Martha Stewart, here we come.

Our first foray into domesticity was a gingerbread house.

*Note to self: Never, ever, ever attempt any sort of gingerbread anything ever again. It doesn't matter how many other people sucessfully craft a cookie dwelling, or that Michael's sells amazing kits that have beautiful pictures of heavenly bliss...yours just isn't going to look anything like that. EVER. No matter how hard you try, or how many curse words you use, yours is still going to fall apart.

Gingerbread housing with the boys, it turns out, is much like Halloween pumpkining with the boys. I have this image in my mind of what it's going to be like. I imagine the whole family bonding, stretching our creative abilities to the limit, for hours and hours and hours of fun. We'll laugh, and tell silly stories, and compliment each other on our amazing gingerbread accomplishment.

Instead, the boys watch TV while we do all the hard work, come over to decorate for 20 seconds, ask to eat all the candy, throw things at each other, drop 4000 sugar bits on the ground, get bored and leave.

Norman Rockwell would have a freaking coronary.

So, here's the house as we (read: The Guy That's Sleeping on the Couch and I) started:

And here's the boys, during their 20 second decorating blitz:

Look at that intense concentration. And, to his benefit, TGTSOTC did manage to actually make icicles on our gingerbread house. So that totally makes us more domestic.

And here's the completed project:

Granted, it looks like the door is melting off into the foundation of the home, but I think it turned out pretty damn good.

Martha Stewart better watch her domestically inclined ass, because the wieners and I are coming right up on it.


I just re-read that sentence.


Shit, I'm funny.

3 people used their Big Boy words to communicate:

Veronica Harmonica said...

Whatever Martha- That house is amazing.
I want to live in it. Lock me inside and let me eat my way out.

Anonymous said...

At least your house didn't come with red frosting to make it look like a massacre happened :) BTW - Costco sells the house ALREADY put together so it doesn't fall apart so next year you can break your vow of nothing gingerbread and try again. I do the same thing - imagine it all wonderful in my head and then it all turns to crap. Oh well :)

Angela said...

The Wise-Men didn't visit until the 7th, technically you're on schedule!
As for the gingerbread house, looks pretty good to me :) Although I was expecting PPT aka The Hormone King to have put Skittles on the roof in the shape of a giant penis. (sob)