Top 15 reasons The Dictator kicks ass

Today is The Dictator's birthday, and because I don't have a warm fuzzy blog, I'm going to honor him by making a list of the top 15 reasons I think The Dictator kicks ass.

1. He makes me laugh, every single day. Sometimes it's intentional, but usually it's just him being him.

2. He loves to cuddle, and actually asks me to schedule it in for him- "Mom, is it cuddle time yet?" It makes my cold heart melt.

3. He takes the longest craps I've ever witnessed. Honestly. Every single time he gets up from the toilet, he has a ring around his ass because he's been sitting there for 25 minutes. And he gives you a play-by-play of what's happening. "Okay, I'm pushing again. This one is big!" And bath water motivates his bowels, because the second his bath is done running, he has to poop. And then his bath gets cold, so I have to run the water again. But I still love his marathon craps.

4. He knows almost every word to every song he's ever heard. It's amazing. He hears a song once and the next time it's on he's singing it.

5. He's always hungry. If we eat dinner at 6:30, by 6:45 he's hungry again. And this continues every 15 minutes until bedtime at 9:30.

6. His favorite show in the whole world is Wipeout, and he insists that we all sit down and watch it with him. And we do, because seriously...it is the BEST. SHOW. EVER.

7. At 5 years old, he's smarter than me.

8. He remembers everything you've ever told him since he was in utero. And where he was when it was said. And who said it. And why.

9. He loves his brother more than anything on earth, and will share everything he has with him. When he's not socking him in the stomach as he walks by.

10. He is very, very, VERY strong-willed. Right now, that makes me want to smother him, but when he's older, it may actually do him some good.

11. He believes in God and Jesus, always, no questions asked. There is no faith with him, it's just fact.

12. He's the slowest eater ever.

13. He looks like my family. Not me, so much, but my family...especially my mom, and that's a nice little reminder now that she's gone.

14. He has absolutely no impulse control. He says whatever pops into his head and does whatever seems like a good idea at the time. About 98% of the time, it gets him in trouble.

15. He's the sweetest little boy in the world...unless he's the meanest. But mostly the sweetest. Sometimes.

And that, my friends, is why The Dictator kicks ass. And why I love him forever, no matter what, more than anything in the whole wide world.

Happy Birthday Dictator!