Things I can't explain

I am a walking contradiction. Here's why:

- I never wanted children yet can't imagine who or where I'd be without them.

- I love alternative rock but will argue for hours that the best song ever performed is "American Pie" by Don McLean.

- I'm not religious, although I do believe in God, yet I send my kids to a private religious school.

- I despise chick flicks but will watch anything with Amanda Bynes in it.

- I work full-time and love being in charge, but there's a part of me that craves the simpler life of the 1950s, when most moms were staying at home and not running around like maniacs.

- I'll spend hundreds of dollars every month eating out, but won't buy anything name brand unless it's on sale.

- I make fun of soccer moms but I am one. And I drive a minivan.

- I'm fairly bright intellectually, but have NO common sense whatsoever.

- I seem like an unorganized, harried lunatic, but I'm probably one of the cleanest people out there.

When it comes to raising the little urchins, I'm surprisingly conservative. Although I'll cuss like 13 sailors and google things like "fat porn" and "uncircumcised penis", my kids aren't allowed to watch much of anything besides their cartoon channels and The Military Network (don't ask, PPT seems to have an issue that needs addressing). We don't cuss around them, they aren't allowed to use words like "stupid" or "hate", and we do pleases and thank yous for everything. We're not perfect, and the minute the kiddos are nighty-nighty, there are words flying that you've probably never even heard...but while they're awake we put on a good show.

The way I look at it, they're only innocent for so long, and once that innocence is lost, they'll never get it back again. So why not hang onto it as long as we can? I can't protect them from all the bad gunky out there, but what I can protect them from...I will.

So, I was a little stupified when, today as we were driving to school, PPT said, "Mom, what's a suicide bomber?"

Huh?

*Crickets chirping*

*Still chirping*

Not for the first time ever in my parenting career, I was stumped. I wanted to tell him my personal opinion, that they're selfish dickheads who don't have the right to live on Earth anyway, but I knew that wasn't the right thing to do. Who am I to say that their intentions and what they believe are wrong? Doesn't that make me just as bad as them, judging and threatening?

So I went for the facts:*

"A suicide bomber is a person who wants to bomb a target so badly that they are willing to die in the process and that, in fact, dying along with the victims is part of the point. A number of critics insist that "suicide bombers" actually be labeled "homicide bombers" in order to emphasize the fact that these people are killing others. Suicide bombers may be motivated by religious beliefs that they will be rewarded in heaven for sacrificing their lives for their beliefs, while other religions consider it suicide, which is not allowed under its beliefs."

*According to Wikipedia. My words were more like, "Umm, uh, hmm, well, they're bad people who think it's umm, okay to blow themselves and other people up for their uh, religious cause."

And surprisingly, PPT was okay with this definition. He didn't ask any more questions, or wonder why I couldn't get out a complete sentence without stammering the whole time. He just moved on, thank God.

But I didn't. I started wondering what my small adult would ask me about next that I can't explain. Abortion? War? Hatred? Racism? How do I even begin to explain to him that I don't know, I don't understand and all I can do is raise him to be the best man he can be?

I guess I just answered my own question.